Anthony Yeboah

I 'support' a football team.  I don't actually support them, not in any financial way at least, because I haven't paid to watch one of their matches for a couple of years.  It would be more accurate to say that I follow the fortunes of this team, and that my happiness to some extent depends on whether they can, on any given day, put a ball into a net more times than the opposing group of men over ninety-odd minutes.


This team is Leeds United.  And yes, I am aware that they are shit.  Somehow however, following a team in this way instils some sort of inexplicable fierce pride in me.  Somehow, when the eleven (or less depending on how they've behaved) men playing for Leeds score more goals than say, the eleven men representing Reading, I get an instant feeling of power. It's like I am somehow superior than the people of Reading, despite not contributing to the contest in any way whatsoever, and having no strong feelings towards the town of Reading.  I can't explain this, except to say that this stupidity has been passed on to me by my father.  So there you go, as a young boy my fragile little mind was tragically warped.  That's my excuse.


Anthony 'Tony' Yeboah played for Leeds from 1995 to 1997, a tragically short amount of time.  Like all the greats, he played amazingly for about a year, got fat, and moved on.  He wasn't an especially great player.  But he had the ability to score goals of such violent beauty, just thinking of him moves me to tears.  To this day, you cannot convince me that anyone can kick a ball harder than Tony Yeboah.  On a couple of occasions he crushed the ball into the net as if both the ball and the underside of the crossbar had caused him some horrific offence.  He didn't just kick the ball, he destroyed it.  On Monday the 21st of August 1995, Yeboah scored my favourite goal ever.  


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tDx-KUGVGMk


I have often wondered the difference between myself and people who aren't interested in sport.  I'm not sure, but I can say that the main reason I love sport is because it can be so outrageously spectacular.  That volley is one of the most beautiful things I think I've ever seen.  If that's corny, then corn me up.  On Saturday the 23rd of September in the same year, he did it again.  Absolutely bloody outrageous.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mHCmU4QmgEM


So that's Tony Yeboah.  As far as I'm concerned, he's a superhero.  And a small part of why I love sports.

P.S. When I googled images of Yeboah, among them were pictures of Asamoah Gyan and Jay Jay Okocha.  I find this highly racial.
P.P.S. For those reading this who don't know me, when I say 'racial', I mean racist. 
P.P.P.S.  When I say 'poop', I mean fart.