A tribute to the stuff that makes life less boring.

25/04/2012

The Great Blog Crossover: Talkin’ Sports


So, Alex Spencer.... Ladies love him, Gents love him... Hell, even small, furry creatures think he hung the moon. Alex, unlike me, is an actual journalist. If he ain’t writing, he’s probably thinking about it. His blog, alex-spencer.co.uk, discusses mainly videogames and films in a level of detail which leaves mere mortals wondering what they did to deserve being so desperately poor at writing. This is the second half of a blog crossover what we done. I’m going to file it in with ‘momentous life events that nobody else cares about’. It’s a big file. What I’m trying to say is, MY FRIEND ALEX IS GOOD AT WRITING SO I’M HAPPY THAT HE WANTED TO WRITE ON MY BLOG.

Considering that I don’t think much thought went in (certainly on my end), an amazing symmetry has occurred. I relieved myself on everything that Alex loves (having favourite things) and now he’s going to take a massive dump on a passion of mine (sport. Pointless, lovely sport).



At some point last week, I remembered that it was a European Championship year. It was a mildly exciting moment, especially given the tedious Olympicmania that has been allegedly sweeping the country for the last year. This was, though, an anomalous moment in a largely sportsless life.

I just don't really get sport. Cohabiting with sporting enthusiasts – including the ocherous overlord of this very blog – I've often marvelled at their enthusiasm. Rising offensively early and pulling all-nighters to catch sports played on distant parts of the globe, entire weekends given over to worship of 22 men kicking an inflatable sphere.

The phenomenon has long puzzled me, but as my dad sat in my living room yesterday morning and translated an F1 race for me, I've come finally to this simple conclusion: I just can't read.

In my brief dalliances in teaching English Literature, trying to convince a room of teenagers to pick subtext and meaning out of the literary devices in poems older than the town they lived in, I often found myself butting up against the same argument. Yeah, sir, but what if he just wanted to do it like that? It's a conversation I've found myself in endlessly in my life as an arts student, journalist, and all round massive ponce. Aren't you just overthinking it a bit? When it comes to sport, oh, how those tables are turned.

Apparently, there's a whole language in the preparations, decisions and movements of these sportspeople – I just can't read it.

With sufficient amounts of lager, I can enjoy the occasional 90-minute stint of foot-to-ball watching, but I don't really understand what's going on between each goal. The way fans of a sports can move from the microscopic to the universal, finding meaning in the tiniest of movements before applying it to the tectonic shifts of entire leagues, just isn't something I'm capable of.

Really, it's the same skillset, of finding meaning which may or may not be there, that I am lucky enough to be able to apply to literature, music, and videogames. You can't be good at everything.

And though the bilingual bastards who can interpret both culture and sports – like our gracious, copper-haired host – are to be admired and feared, it's a though I find comfort in. Occasionally, I've found others' mania for sport frustrating, and wished it would just go away. But knowing that it's just another discipline I'm not talented at, the same way I can't analyse ballet or politics, or speak Mandarin, that all seems rather silly.

So from now on, I'll happily sit down with an enthusiastic friend and watch their sport of choice, knowing they're engaging in the sacred act of pattern-spotting, picking out a narrative in the complex mess of stuff going on, that has has given birth to millennia of culture, discovery, and religion.

But, if it's all the same, I'll just watch for the beer and the crashes.

14/04/2012

Sweet and Spicy Roasted Butternut Squash Soup

There is a perfect balance to be found here, with the sweetness of roasted butternut squash, sweet red peppers and mangoes followed by a spicy, savoury hit from chilli, cumin, paprika and chorizo. I used lentils mainly because I have a massive bag of them, but they are great at making something like soup more satisfying. This soup is so good, you wouldn’t be disappointed if you had a bowl with a toastie or a sandwich for your evening meal. And let’s face it, soup is near the top of the list of disappointing evening meals. This one is so versatile, I even had it with rice. It was brilliant with a cold beer.

hmm. looks proper unappetising.
Should serve 5/6 people

Ingredients:
1 butternut squash
Olive oil
4/5 cloves garlic
1 onion
1 teaspoon chilli powder
2 teaspoons cumin
2 teaspoons paprika
2/3 inches of chorizo (ahem.)
½ cup red lentils
1 litre chicken stock
4 roasted sweet red peppers (the kind in a jar)
2/3 teaspoons (preferably spicy) mango chutney



Method:

1.       Peel and slice up the squash, removing the seeds, and put it on a baking tray with a coating of olive oil. Put it in the oven at high/full whack until it looks roasted looking. Half an hour maybe.
2.       Whilst the squash is roasting, peel and chop the onion and garlic and cook on a very gentle heat in a little oil in the bottom of your massive soup pot for about 5 minutes, lid on.
3.       Chop the chorizo and throw that in – cook for a few minutes so that the oil oozes out a bit
4.       Chuck in your spices, and cook them for a few minutes
5.       Add the lentils and chicken stock, and stir it about a bit. Bring to a simmer, put the lid on and cook until the lentils are tender. 15-20 minutes should do it.
6.       Stir in the peppers, mango chutney and your roasted squash leave on a gentle heat for another 5 minutes.
7.       Blend the lot. Ideally you want one of those handheld blender things.

Disclaimer: Timings and quantities may be seriously, properly wrong. Use your wits.

21/02/2012

A Distinctly Undeadly Arsenal


Arsenal aren’t as good as they used to be. 

The sports pages I read seem to be obsessed with analysing the reasons why. Is it all down to money, or does the blame lay with Arsene Wenger? The recurring theme of the media’s coverage of Arsenal is that they haven’t spent sufficient money to compete. But is this really true? 
 
……Yes and no. Spending money on players doesn’t necessarily dictate better results on the pitch. Arsenal have sold almost all of their great players because circumstances forced them to. Circumstances being, a fashion among the world’s richest people for buying football clubs as a leisure pursuit with little concern for the club being a profitable, sustainable enterprise in its own right. Arsenal do not possess the cup winning pedigree and alluring mystique of Manchester United, nor the seemingly unlimited resources of Chelsea and Manchester City. So they cannot compete with those teams to recruit recognised, experienced international footballers. 

The only other ways are to ‘grow your own’, or failing that, nab promising youngsters for smaller fees and then feed and water them until they bloom. That takes more time. What Chelsea and Manchester City have done is rapidly shortened the timespan for assembling a world class football team. This has meant that in recent times, they have been at a higher level before Arsenal’s youngsters have had time to develop. Once in that advantaged position, teams such as City and Chelsea can skim off the cream that rises to the top at Arsenal. So, it is obvious that Arsenal now face a much more difficult task to win trophies, due to increased competition that has been driven by large injections of cash.

The media are feeding off Arsenal fans’ disgruntlement. But the fact is, fourth place and no trophies is a very good season for Arsenal in the current climate. 

The real problem to Arsenal is Tottenham Hotspur. With Spurs, it is more difficult to argue that their results are better because they have spent more money. Admittedly, they have often been keener to pay more than £15 million for a player than Arsenal, but reportedly their wage bill is much lower. Spurs have, overall, just made better signings. This has damaged Arsenal’s reputation as the most effective excavators of footballing talent. This is not a case of Arsenal underachieving and Spurs overachieving - Tottenham’s best XI is arguably better than Manchester United’s. With Spurs deservedly in third, Arsenal face a shoot-out with Chelsea for a Champions League place worth £40 million. Chelsea have better players, even though this is a transitional period for them.

A few articles recently have begun to pick apart Arsenal’s tactics. But under Arsene Wenger, Arsenal have rarely paid attention to that side of the game. Their approach to a match is almost always the same, and they either play well, or they don’t. So it is not right to criticise Wenger for a lack of tactical nous when that has never been his bag. 

Arsenal’s decline has been primarily the result of economic circumstances forcing the club into fielding players of a lower quality, as well as some poor scouting. I’ll single out some individuals. Mikel Arteta is too slow and does not look for a forward pass often enough. Sebastien Squillaci doesn’t appear to be good at anything. Arshavin lacks the necessary mental attributes. He displays no effort, no desire and no concentration. Thomas Rosicky is a horrible footballer, I think it’s safe to say injuries have ruined the player who was so prolific for the Czech Republic national team. Aaron Ramsey, having looked the business before Ryan Shawcross snapped him in half, now looks lost on the pitch, too often giving the ball back to the opposition. Marouane Chamakh was impressive at first, but his performance level plummeted and now he can’t get a game. And as for Theo Walcott, he could be a separate article by himself. Along with Arshavin he’s probably the most frustrating footballer I’ve ever seen. Capable of being effective and even spectacular, but more often his low level of technical skill lets him down, often for games in succession.

Arsenal need you to think favourably of them because they haven’t bought their success, but without question Tottenham are now deservedly the neutral’s favourite. Harry Redknapp is, to his credit, outperforming Arsene Wenger. I had been drawn to Arsenal because I enjoyed watching them play, but watching Arsenal recently has been a sad experience. In my opinion this is far more significant than their recent lack of trophies. Arsenal fans should value widespread admiration more than oversized trinkets.